August 2, 1910
To my son.
Pancho, my beloved son:
Not only one but a thousand blessings would I
tenderly send your way today, enveloping you in them and in all
of the blessings of heaven.
Through God's favor I have a grace which few mothers
can recount: that of taking you to the altar and presenting you
to the saintly wife the Blessed Mother has chosen for you, as
unblemished as I received you myself. What a fortune to arrive as
a lily, as an angel, to receive the grace of matrimony: This
above all will make your father smile in heaven, as he wishes you a
chaste marriage, which he too, will bless with affection. You
enter a new state of life, son of my soul; you can also be chaste in
it, sacrificing yourself and forging souls, if the Lord provides you
with children, for his Glory. Let us bless God for his countless
gifts.
You have been a model son and I hope you will also
be a husband as Christian, as honorable, as loving and noble as your
father was: in that way you will make Elisa truly happy, as she,
with great devotion and first love is going to unite her life to your
own.
I had always prayed that the Lord would give you a
wife who would understand you, who, with her virtues, would sweeten
your character, who would cultivate your religious feelings, who could
be your companion in this exile, who would wipe away your tears, who
would help you endure life's sorrows and appease your grief and help
you to remove the thorns in your path.
God has listened to my humble prayers for He never
fails to hear a mother's plea, and so you have found this ideal upon
earth.
You are going to receive her today by the hand of
the Holy Church, she is a sacred gift: she is going to be the
mother of your children. Respect her, love her and appreciate
her, and then she will be whatever you wish her to be.
Avoid the least quarrel and do not stop at any
sacrifice to have peace in your home and with her family. It is
better to bend than to break; with prudence, education and certain
common sense, many troubles can be avoided. Oh, my son!
Never forget that everything you are, all that you have and the
happiness you now enjoy, you owe to the good Jesus that has loved you
with such tenderness! From how many dangers He has delivered
you! How He has cared for you since you became an orphan!
Truly Divine Providence has taken care of you, has covered you with its
shadow and led you gently, opening new horizons for your future. Be
grateful, my son: recognize with gratitude the fatherly tenderness of
God over you and demonstrate your gratitude by your actions, and never
be ashamed of being a good Christian.
You have been the favored child of Mary, never cease
to call upon her; never forget to pray your rosary, and in your joys
and in your sorrows, let her always be your Mother and the Mother of
your children. Depend on her love to make your home a heavenly
one. Before putting an end to this letter, I am going to give you
a little advice poured out from the heart that most loves you on earth.
Keep your faith even in the great burdens of your
life: the religion you profess, the only true one, must be your
shield and your pride, and instruct in it the children God wills to
give you, teaching them to love it and respect it as the greatest thing
upon earth.
Direct Elisa with sweetness, preferring persuasion
and good reason to force and authority, which cause coolness.
Remember that in married life, it is very dangerous to extinguish the
flame of love, respect, and esteem.
Do not invite friends to your home frequently, but do not be a
jealous husband; mistrustful husbands do not honor their own dignity.
Do not be too familiar with your wife's relatives: a sincere
respect, dignified and constant, will keep you from arguments, even
though you might have to give in. Never use harsh |
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words
with Elisa, much less offensive ones; keep
silent during the first impulses and you will never repent from doing
so. Be dignified with everyone but never
haughty. Keep on being
honest under every
circumstance. Do not soil your soul with business
deals that extort your fellowmen. You understand me. Let
your soul be
always clean -- poverty does not soil or shame one -- and you will be
happy.
Participate in honest recreations and always accompanied by your
wife: if she is ill, do not abandon her for your friends; these
engagements would make her suffer, even though she would have the
prudence of not letting you know.
I tell you that, in marriage, although it is necessary to have
social relationships, it is more important to love your home and to
render it hospitable, embellishing it with flowers, controlling your
own inclinations and dedicating yourself to your children through
self-denial.
May your home, dear Pancho, be a model of Christian homes where the
Lord reigns and the worldly atmosphere does not come in; where the
peace and happiness that are born from the accomplishment of one's
duty, be settled there.
Take care to receive the Sacraments frequently and never abandon
them under any circumstance in your life. Elisa is a good Christian
and will tend to those practices of piety which, even seemingly small,
are important in the formation of the family.
Never spend more than you have, not even all that you
earn: thrift helps marriages avoid a lot of trouble. But do not be
avaricious; aim for a happy medium, maintaining a decent and fitting
social standing, not living in luxury, even if you become rich. Let
the poor be considered one of your ordinary expenses, and God will not
fail you.
Don't limit your piety to exterior observances but rather in the
practice of virtues, being patient in adversity, resigned to the
adverse events of life "because if we receive from the Lord so many
goods, why should we not also receive the sufferings He desires to send
us?"
Never leave your brothers if I should no longer be here; look after
them as your father would; you represent him before them: help them in
the future, above all their souls, and the Lord will bless you.
I hope the Lord will still leave me upon earth to enjoy your
happiness, but as you are going away and I am so often ill, I thought
about writing this advice for the future; if you follow it you shall be
very joyful.
Forgive me, my son, for all the bad example I might have given you, and do not follow it.
I bless you again with all my soul in my name and in the name of
your father. I would also be so pleased if on this happy day in which
God is going to bless your union by means of a saintly Bishop, that
loves you so (1), you would wear this watch your father wore until the
last day of his life: accept it as a gift of great value for the
memories it holds.
So then be joyful in your marriage and you surely will be so as
long as you accomplish God's will and keep it in the center of your
heart.
Your humble mother who blesses you.
Concepción
(L.R., Vol. I/12-19)
(1) Ramón Ibarra y González,
Archbishop of Puebla. Father Primitivo Cabrera Arias, S. J,
celebrated the Holy Mass.
Ron
Leonardo is the father of six, a teacher of English as a Second
Language and Basic Written English at Modesto (California) Junior
College, and a Writing Consultant for WriteGuide.com.
He is also self-employed as a tutor and editor. The majority of his
clientele are priests and religious. Ron enjoys singing (inspired by
God and by his wife), weight training, sharing of Scripture, and
occasional writing.
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